Roway’s Bass | E. Christopher Clark

Roway’s Bass

Roway’s Bass is an ancient upright bass, purported to have belonged to and been played by Roway: The Crowned Jester. It is a magnificent musical instrument that just so happens to make its players fall hopelessly in love with it.

 

Construction

The body of the bass is built from hellfire pine, making it practically indestructible—and leading some to wonder if Roway had a dalliance with the goddess of fire after breaking up with her sister. The fingerboard is made of ebony and the strings are made of Nunyan nylon.

 

Abilities

The bass enables any bassist, from the complete novice to the seasoned pro, to instantly play with the preternatural skill of Roway Freewings.

 

Cost

The bassist who plays music with Roway’s Bass will become immediately and irrevocably infatuated with the instrument. The longer a person plays the bass, the more they will come to love it—to the point where they will begin to view the bass as they would view a lover.

 

One yeti played it for so long that she began to take the instrument to bed with her each night.

 

Limitations

Roway’s Bass is a serial monogamist. It will dedicate itself fully to one bassist at a time, but it is also constantly seeking its next adventure. When it has found a new set of hands it wants to be plucked by, the bass will do everything it can to be discarded. It will fall out of tune with greater and greater regularity, its strings will break under the slightest pressure, and it will eventually just outright refuse to be played—hiding from the bassist, getting stuck in its carrying case, etc.

 

Funnily enough, once the bassist decides to give up on the relationship and let the bass move on, all of the problems disappear.

Roway's Double Bass.jpg
Item type
Musical Instrument
Weight
25 lbs
Dimensions
6' tall (from scroll to endpin)

Comments

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Feb 15, 2024 11:45 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

This is fun. I don't think cuddling with a bass in bed would be very comfortable, but who am I to judge? XD

Emy x   Etrea | Vazdimet
Feb 15, 2024 15:39 by E. Christopher Clark

Yeah, I think people kinda lose their good sense when they fall in love with the bass.

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Feb 17, 2024 06:49 by Emily Armstrong

Heyyy speak for yourself, I think I may have played Roway's Bass for a couple years back in college xD I fear I may secretly be the yeti aahahahahh love this article, I'm a total sucker for a big bass lmaoo

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Feb 26, 2024 12:08 by E. Christopher Clark

Hehehehe, there's lots to love with a big bass!

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Feb 15, 2024 14:08 by Chris L

Never shine a blacklight on this either!


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Feb 15, 2024 15:39 by E. Christopher Clark

hahahahahaha, nope! lol

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