Splash Panda

The so-called Splash Panda is a species of Edenian mammal concocted by scientists high on Happy Place mushrooms. Each Splash Panda has the head of a raccoon; the body, limbs, and shell of a turtle; and the tail of a beaver.

“Why?” you might ask. “Just why?!”

Well, even the folks who created these things and let them escape from the lab cannot say. These are the perils inherent in the use of Genetic Elevation and Manipulation as a technology—especially when you’re blitzed, fershnickered, or otherwise inebriated. Here, in Eden—as the saying goes—there be monsters.

Since their escape from a Reekian laboratory, the frighteningly fecund species has infested the whole of Eden. That said, they strongly prefer to settle in marshes and floodplains—or anywhere that dragons dwell.

“Dragons?!” you say, concern in your voice and in the spittle you just showered me with as you shouted.

Yes, Splash Pandas simply adore dragons. In fact, their symbiotic relationship with the wyrms of the world is perhaps the most interesting aspect of the Splash Panda’s continued existence.

The Splash Panda is a prolific thief, you see—able to move quickly through both water and across land, and surprisingly agile for a creature with a big shell on its back (which doubles as a place to carry their ill-gotten gains). They have put these qualities to good use as hired hands for their draconic neighbors, with elderwyrms delighting in providing food and shelter to these benevolent scavengers who help them continue to grow their horde well into their old age.