I am God

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I am God. I don't know what kind of God I am. I'm not even sure if I'm good at being God. But I am God. I remember everything from the moment the first prayer was said to me, I think I existed before that, but my memories only started with that first prayer. 

 

The prayer that started it all was from a desperate father. "Please, anyone, anything, Save my daughter. I will do anything that you ask of me." That was the prayer. I remember being suddenly aware of myself, the one who had prayed and the one he had prayed for. I also knew that I could help this Girl, not much, but enough that she would probably survive, so I did. 

 

It took months, and over time the Girl lived. After she was declared free from the sickness that held sway over her, I received another prayer: the Father again. "To whoever or whatever helped my daughter, I know that you helped, and I am a man of my word, ask what you will, and I will do all I can to make it happen. You have my eternal gratitude." 

 

At the time, I felt I had no right to ask anything of the Father, so I responded. "My name is Alejh'Ha'Rune. You are welcome." 

 

Later that night, I received prayer from my second-ever person. It was the daughter. "Alejh'Ha'Rune, my Father tells me you are the God who helped me. My name is Sarash; I know I am small and weak, but I want you to know that you will be in my thoughts for the entirety of my life, and I shall never pray to another. If I have children, they will know of your kindness. Thank you." 

 

"Grow well, Sarash." That was my response. I watched them for the next ten years, and every night both Sarash and her Father would pray to me. I would politely wish them a good night, and then I would watch over them. Something about our interactions made me feel responsible for them. 

 

Another five years passed, and Sarash's Father built an altar for me with a bowl. I established a small portal on the bottom of the bowl so that anything they placed in the bowl would come to me. Suddenly I had a body! 

 

I realized quickly that I did not require food and that by having a body, I suddenly had greater control of things around me and those who worshiped me. As it so happened, within a month, I received a prayer unlike any other from Sarash. "Alejh'Ha'Rune, I have done my best and left an offering of coin for you. I am unsure what you might want as an offering, but it is all that I had to offer that was of great value. I have a favor to ask. Tomorrow I am supposed to meet a young man my Father wants me to marry. I will not marry unless I have your blessing. Please give me a sign if you bless the union. As always, thank you, and have a good night." 

 

"Goodnight, Sarash, and look to the shrine when returning home," I said and then proceeded to watch her dreams. Seeing the meeting play out in her nightmares, I reached out and soothed her mind, granting her peaceful dreams and a full night's rest for her big day.

The following day, I watched with intense scrutiny as the two families met. The fathers of the two young people discussed various things as Sarash and her supposed fiance talked for the first time. As they did this, I delved into the young man's mind. What I found disgusted me. I understood that humans were lustful creatures and had little issue with that. It was how he was already planning on abusing her and using her in deplorable ways to fund his vices that truly made me despise him. 

 

The monster in man's flesh reached out and placed his hand on the back of Sarash's hand, and I could not help myself. I shouted out, "NO!" in Sarash and her Father's minds. Instantly Sarash jerked her hand away and angered the monster. Just as I prepared to gather my power within Sarash to protect her, her Father burst in, and they quickly exited. 

 

A few months later, the monster married another young woman despite the urgings of Sarash and her Father to any who would listen. And within a month, there were issues. Sarash thanked me profusely. Her Father was ashamed at having almost given his daughter away to a monster like that and for not having asked me before the meeting. He poured time and effort into expanding my shrine, caving a beautiful piece that depicted myself having a body and a face, holding his daughter protectively to my chest as he knelt and prayed. 

 

The art moved me, so I searched far and wide through the population of the city in which they lived and finally found someone who I thought would be a good match for Sarash. I wrote the name in the shrine, and when Sarash and her Father were looking at it, I said, "A suggestion Only."  

 

Months later, they celebrated their marriage. I watched as they bound themselves in my name. I watched their entire lives as Sarash, her Father, her husband, and their children became my most devoted worshipers and spread my name throughout their world.

 

Years would pass, and slowly, over many centuries, the bloodline of Sarash would grow and expand to have thousands upon thousands of people. The day humanity sent their first pilot to another planet, I congratulated the pilot, who could trace their lineage directly back to Sarash. "Well done, Kevin." 

 

Kevin smiled and responded with a silent prayer as had been passed down in his family for generations. "As always, I thrive in your light, Alejh'Ha'Rune." 

 

Years would go by once more, and still, the descendants of Sarash remained loyal. Even in times of uncertainty and disbelief, there was never a night that I did not receive thousands of prayers. A Private temple was even constructed in my name. 

 

After almost 1500 years of guiding and protecting the Sarash line, humanity made contact with another race. I was excited to see the next step in human growth. I had also reached a point where I had enough power to manifest myself in the human realm. I did so now at the birth of every member of the Sarash line to bless the child and the parents. So when I received a panicked prayer, first only one, then it seemed as if every believer cried out in panic. I materialized myself in the temple. "What is it?" 

 

"Look." That was all they said and directed my attention to the sky. Descending from the clouds were ships that spread troops as a showerhead spreads water. 

 

"Gather everyone to the temple and tell those who can not be here to get into large groups if they can. The fewer places I have to worry about, the better," I said and then vanished and watched with my power as the entire Earth was invaded by the reptilian race that humanity had contacted, named the Jox. 

 

I also felt those who believed in me gather. Some places held thousands or hundreds, others only twenty or thirty. But one, an old woman named Sara, in honor of Sarash, had no one near that could help her and could not travel to a gathering on her own. 

 

I went to her. "Sara, it is good to see you." 

 

Sara smiled from the comfort of her armchair. "Is this the end, my God?" 

 

I smiled down at her kneeling. "It can be if you wish it to be. I have to give you an impossible choice Sara. My abilities are vast, but I can only do so much and have thousands to protect. I can not lay protection upon you as I would like and still manage to protect the other gatherings." 

 

I looked at the ancient woman, her smile never leaving her face. Tears welled up in my eyes. "I have failed you as your God, but if you desire, I can lay concealments upon you and do my best to maintain everything. I can also take you into my arms and bring about your end." 

 

I felt wrinkled hands reach up to wipe the tears from my face. "Alejh'Ha'Rune, you have long been good to my family and me. You have never deluded us into thinking you are all-powerful, so I know you are doing all you can. Know that you have not failed me, and I still love you with all my heart, my lord." 

 

Sara stood and wrapped her arms around me in an embrace, and I swept her soul into the afterlife. The sheer love and commitment I felt from her soul drove me to rage. Why should such a gentle and loving woman die? Why should a race like humanity, capable of so much love and kindness, be attacked simply for making contact? I wondered about these things and decided what would happen when I finally received the first panicked prayer.

 

Jox troops were already at the temple. I touched the minds of the Jox and quickly assimilated their language. "Mercy for those who show mercy," I said into their minds. 

 

Some responded, shocked at the voice in their head. Others snarled cruelly, believing one of the humans was attempting to beg. But in the end, only one Jox did not raise his weapon. With a thought, those who raised their weapons were no more. 

 

This scene played out over the months in all the places where my followers gathered. Then I had the strangest thing happen. Several Jox who had not raised their weapons and survived an encounter with me prayed to me. They begged me to understand this and to know more about me. I sent them to the temple and instructed the line of Sarash to teach them. 

 

The war ended months later with the conversion of the entire race to worshiping me, all from a state of atheism. I gained power then, unimaginable power. The belief in me, since I was not afraid to show myself to those who believed, washed over the collective races of the galaxy, and my power grew. 

 

I watched as a new age of peace and understanding washed over humanity, and I was proud. I had not created them or created any of the races that now worshiped me. But each and everyone one of them showed only their best traits, and I reveled in it. 

—-------

"It wasn't until I met you that I wondered if I was the only god," I said, looking down at the barely formed consciousness that would slowly grow into another god. 

 

The consciousness seemed to be excited. I laughed at it gently. "Yes, maybe we can meet one day and discuss what I am sure you will accomplish. Until then, I bid you farewell." 

 

I disappeared from the place where new life was forming and returned to see the flowering dynasty of humanity. I thought back over everything I had told the young God.

 

"I am God," I said to myself, then chuckled and shook my head. "No, I am God," I said, returning to my daily routine and ignoring the single tear that ran down my cheek. Finally, I was not alone. 

 

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