Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas

Juvenile mind
it’s been a long, long time
since you’ve heard this line
and not thought of the line
for the men’s room.

You wonder
what would have happened
if you’d heard this on
the drive home,
the next rest
room a state away.
Would you have peed
your pants
the way the baby did?
And would you blame the laughter?
Would your wife care
about the reason
(or reason)
when she found the piss-soaked jeans
at the bottom of the hamper?

After that,
could you blame her
when he crossed her mind
when she rang his line,
and couldn’t explain why
except to say “Gee whiz,
it’s Christmas”?