Cookie

Cookies are a popular snack and dessert throughout the Clarkwoods Literary Universe, and in the land of Eden in particular. Small, flat, and sweet, they are easy to carry and a staple amongst Edenian adventurers. Yes, they are prone to breakage if jostled too much, but a fistful of crumbled cookies are a far better treat than just about anything else a traveler might stuff into their knapsack.

All that said, in Eden care must be taken to scope out one’s surroundings before eating these cookies on the open road. Rumors persist of a clan of blue-furred dwarf yeti with strange googly eyes and an insatiable craving for this particular snack. Supposedly, there is nothing you can stay to reason with them. So: beware.

The Queen’s Cookies

Queen Frieda Jacobs had strong opinions a great many things, but her opinions about cookies were amongst her most fiercely held. In fact, in 264, after her unification of the seven countries of Wonderland into one United Kingdom, the monarch set down a list of cookies which were allowed to be served at state functions—and one cookie which would be henceforth be known as an “abomination.”

The List

1. Chocolate chip cookies
2. Shortbread cookies with fudge stripes
3. Sandwich cookies of all kinds
4. Snickerdoodles
5. Sugar cookies
6. Molasses cookies
7. Peanut butter cookies
8. Thumbprint cookies
9. Black & white cookies
10. Lemon crinkle cookies

Though other cookies could be served by special permission of the Queen, one was expected to tread carefully and to never suggest any version—however innovative—of the so-called “abomination.”

The Abomination

According to Queen Frieda, the oatmeal raisin cookie was an “abomination” and to bake or serve one was an affront to all that was good and holy in the world. Historians believe this was the result of oatmeal raisin cookies being served in close proximity to chocolate chip cookies—the Queen’s favorite—during her coronation. The Queen apparently picked up the wrong cookie and immediately called for the baker to be decapitated.

To this day, given the Queen’s future preference for shouting “Off with their head!” at anyone who offended her, no one is sure if she was joking on coronation day or if she really did expect the baker to be beheaded.