The Coronation of the Queen of Hearts

In the year 263, when Frieda Jacobs sought to unite the seven kingdoms of the Edenian South, she already had her grandmother’s work on their family tree and the public’s love of a good story to back her up. She probably could have just walked into the Crimson Keep, slapped a tiara upon her head, said “Listen to me,” and they would have. And yet, she knew that the people she meant to rule loved nothing more than a good parade and a bit of pomp and circumstance. And so, she called for a coronation ceremony the likes of which the South had never seen.

This ceremony was so instrumental in winning over any lingering doubters that, together with the release of the so-called Coronation Deck, elaborate celebrations of new monarchs and chief executives became de rigueur—not only in Wonderland but across the whole of Eden.

The ceremony begins at the Saltgate, the arched rock formation which gave The City of Hearts its original name. The new queen walks beneath the gate and begins a march toward Stone Square, where the Sword of the River is encased in block of enchanted granite.

Upon reaching the square, the new queen pauses to prove that she can pull the sword from the stone—and is therefore the descendant of Frieda Jacobs and her ancestor Arthur Pendragon. This is but a matter of tradition, of course. She has already been genetically tested to determine the strength of her connection, or else she wouldn’t have been eligible for the office. And yet, the people would probably revolt if she didn’t do as has always been done.

Next, with the Sword of the River in hand, the new queen marches toward the front steps of the Crimson Keep. There, waiting for her, is the body of the previous queen—who, in most cases, is also her mother or grandmother. After a moment of quiet contemplation at the foot of the body, the new queen ascends the first few steps leading up to the palace. There she is met by The Sage, who will be her most trusted advisor.

Repeating the words of a pledge spoken aloud by The Sage, the new queen promises all sorts of things to her subjects and to the world. Then she falls to her knees to allow The Sage to place the Crown of Hearts upon her head. The kneeling is an old tradition and one that several of the more pompous queens have sought to abolish, but old timers love it. Yes, the first queen knelt out of necessity—her Sage being a bipedal white rabbit, after all—but Wonderlandians like a little humility in their rulers, and so kneeling continues to be an important part of the whole shebang.

Finally, once crowned, the new Queen of Hearts descends the steps of the palace and returns to the body of her predecessor. After placing a kiss upon the body's forehead, the new queen holds the Sword of the River aloft, cries out, “Off with her head!,” and decapitates the corpse.

The head is magically preserved and placed alongside the heads of the other queens in Noggin Hall. The rest of the body is then burned upon an elaborate pyre. And then, once the cremation is done, the kingdom throws the biggest party they can muster.