White Mages | E. Christopher Clark

White Mages

The White Mages are a conservative human-supremacist coven operating primarily in the Edenian nation of Wonderland. Though their broad definitions of what constitutes “white” versus “black” magic have long been identified as problematic and racist, the White Mages refuse to change their name—as stubborn in this refusal as they are in their opinion that no good can come from an elven sorcerer, nor from a kíndallan warlock, nor from a halfling conjuring “cheap tricks.”


Founded at the height of the Motherlandian famine in the year 127, the organization was initially conceived in response to the theory that witches from The Faith of the First Mother were responsible for the blight—a theory that has been thoroughly debunked. And in the ages since, they have continued to court controversy.


From their uninvited exorcism of The Bonnie Bubbler house ghost to their continued attempts to remove the halfling “corruption” from Sword of the River, from their protests of supposed “demonic possession” inside the nation’s Quadling Cathouses to their attempt at framing The Faith of the First Mother for a series of bloody pentagrams drawn on the lawn of Queen Frieda’s ancestral home—the White Mages do not and will not stop. They see it as their sacred duty to fight for what they see as the “purification” of Wonderland’s “putrid soul.”


The organization is run from the top down by the so-called Whitest Witch. She is assisted by a council of lesser wizards and witches who act as community leaders in each of the seven provinces of the United Kingdom.


White Mages see it as their sacred and solemn duty to spread “the good news” and rid the world of the bad. The “good news” in question is their belief that the goddess Mira will lead them to their salvation in the new world to come—provided they follow a strict set of commandments they claim were handed down to them from the goddess herself during a revelation at The Sisters’ Gate.


That claim is horseshit, of course. Scholars in the Edenian Athenæum have proven the fourth and fifth commandments to be directly inspired by the work of the Earthling comedian and social critic George Carlin—who probably would have hated these bastards—and there is little doubt the Mages simply made the rest this stuff up.


That said, the Seven Commandments of the White Mages are as follows:

  1. Thou shalt love no god or goddess but me.
  2. Thou shalt undo evil wherever thou dost find it.
  3. Thou shalt take but one lover in thy life.
  4. Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the person who shares thy bed.
  5. Thou shalt not kill any who worship as thou dost.
  6. Thou shalt not steal from a member of the coven.
  7. Honor thy father and thy mother, so long as they devote themselves to our cause.

Public Agenda

The agenda of the White Mages is twofold:

  1. Preserve and restore the dignity of the Edenian South; and,
  2. Spread the good news throughout Eden, saving as many souls as possible before the world begins anew.


Given that the organization is comprised of godawful people with a heinous worldview, and given that the moral arc of the universe bends (however slowly and slightly) toward justice, membership in the organization regularly dips. Because of this, White Mages make a habit of recruiting wherever and however they can—mailing pamphlets on a weekly basis, knocking on door after door after door, and standing public squares to accost any and all passersby.

Content Warning: This article includes discussions of racism and bigotry.
Founding Date
Religious, Coven
Related Species


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Jul 26, 2023 23:13 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

Ugh. Throw them in the bin.   (Nice twist on the commandments)

Emy x   Etrea | Vazdimet
Jul 27, 2023 01:43 by E. Christopher Clark

Thanks! Yes, the commandments were the sort of cheeky twist I needed to survive the writing of this one. I look forward to having these folks get what they deserve in some future story.

Now it's time for the awkward wave.
Jul 29, 2023 13:07 by Chris L

Ew! The "Whitest Witch" is super clever. "And She Shall Be Named......... Karen!"

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Jul 30, 2023 12:53 by E. Christopher Clark

Oh my gosh, yes, she's going to be called Karen.

Now it's time for the awkward wave.
Jul 30, 2023 00:56 by Ademal

Sounds like they'd have very pointy hoods.

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Jul 30, 2023 12:53 by E. Christopher Clark

I think so, yes.

Now it's time for the awkward wave.
Aug 2, 2023 17:52 by Jordan Beasley

Your 'White Mages' article is a thought-provoking exploration of a complex and controversial organization. Your ability to weave historical events and controversies into the narrative is truly commendable. Your storytelling skills and creativity shine through in every line. Keep up the excellent work!

From the desk of Mr. Beasley   Worldbuilder|Author|Dungeon Master
Aug 3, 2023 00:32 by E. Christopher Clark

Thank you, Mr. Beasley, for reading it and for your thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it.

Now it's time for the awkward wave.
Aug 13, 2023 22:50 by Barron

Man, that first sentence is enough to make me not like them. Also commandment 3 really is gonna make me not wanna join amongst everything else. Fun article ECC, well done!

Aug 18, 2023 23:05 by E. Christopher Clark

Thanks for reading! Yeah, every time I come back to this article to respond to a comment, I'm like, "Man, these White Mages suck!"

Now it's time for the awkward wave.
Aug 16, 2023 00:24 by Desdemona Rose

Oh the parallels, though I love that they skimmed from George Carlin, who I agree, would find it all to be horseshit. Hopefully their numbers keep declining!

Aug 18, 2023 23:05 by E. Christopher Clark

Yes, I too hope that their numbers keep declining. I may even turn that into a plot point in an upcoming story.

Now it's time for the awkward wave.
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