Heartache by Moony1 | World Anvil Manuscripts | World Anvil

Chapter 64

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The first thing Adam did after opening his eyes was see a ceiling he didn't recognize; however, it felt oddly familiar while he felt his wounds had been mysteriously healed within an instant, if not miraculously, and he smelled a strange scent of perfume lingering around him as he turned his head to see a familiar, smiling, and attractive woman sitting at a nearby bed.

She wore a bikini with a long brown ponytail and green eyes while having a gentle smile on her face. He recognized her as Meridiana by the mere observation of her body language, the person or creature that entered his mind uninvited during his life-and-death situation. He hadn't forgotten about that, even after experiencing the numerous tragedies he endured in his life or witnessing bizarre phenomena occurring before his very eyes; remembering what she did to him wasn't easily forgotten.

"You," he said in surprise, "I know you." Adam slowly got up as he sat at the edge of his bed, cautiously observing for a few meters away, "your that demon who entered in my dreams." His voice was firm while the woman's expression remained unchanged with a peaceful smile on her face, tilting her head lightly, confirming Adam's statement before he asked with a cautious question, "Why did you save me again?"

Meridiana sighed with her eyes closed, nodding before opening her eyes, "because Azrael told me about you." The unexpected mention of the friends in the past caused him to express a level of shock and confusion from hearing that name for so long. "You know her?" Adam inquired as she nodded once more before replying, "I do; that is why I intervened to save your life."

Looking conflicted, he asked another question, this time personal: "Did she tell you everything about me?" When he asked that, she expressed a look of guilt in her face before nodding. Adam then remained silent while lowering his head, growing anxiety building up within him that lasted nearly a minute of silence.

"Do you also know my past?" He raised his head, staring straight at her green eyes in anticipation of her response, clenching his fists in anger if that were the case. Having trusted the angel was foolish on his part, in fact; he should have been all the more careful given how these individuals aren't even considered humans to begin with.

"Y-yes," stuttering slightly while expressing an apologetic look on her face, "I wasn't able to enter your mind because of an unknown force preventing so, but when you were close to death, I had the opportunity to enter your weakened spirit." She paused briefly before continuing; "when I did," Merdiana hesitated at first but still answered honestly, "Azrael warned me not to do so because she fears what would happen if I had seen all your deepest secrets."

Anger flashed before his eyes. "You saw them?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing, his rage beginning to grow from these treacherous beings invading his most intimate secrets that no person should see: "Those memories are none of your damn business!" Rising from the edge of his bed, he said, "Who else have you told?! Answer me!"

God, it is difficult to hold it back. He can feel the rage overtaking it, and if this continues, he  will be forcibly turned into a monster if he doesn't get himself together now. Adam clenched his teeth as he shut his eyes, calming himself down while exhaling heavily and managing to hold these strong feelings in knots.

"I haven't," the relieving answer brought him back to reality, looking back at her with impatience; the escort then continued while expressing a look of seriousness; "and I won't ever tell anyone about them," she speaks of truth and honesty; "so do not worry Adam, I'm your ally," giving him a reassuring smile afterward.

Remaining in silence once again, relaxing himself while releasing the pent-up feelings, Merdiana waited patiently for him to respond back, but soon he nodded in confirmation, exhaling shortly while calming himself down entirely now before Adam sat down on his bed, rubbing his sweaty forehead from the stress he just put himself into.

"Is there anything else you need from me?" The succubus inquired after Adam finished cooling himself down, raising her eyebrow curiously with genuine expression, waiting for the young man's response once again, but it seemed like he wanted her to leave as he waved his hand, gesturing her to exit the room now. "You want me to leave?"

Shaking his head, he turned his attention toward her with teary eyes and asked, "Your escort, right?" Depression was consuming him rapidly once again as random negative thoughts entered his mind out of nowhere: "Can you..." He doesn't know if he can say it, but the thought of having sex again, especially with a woman, is hard for him.

The succubus understood where he was coming from: "Do you want me to comfort you?" Offering a friendly smile after saying those words, the young man nodded in painful display of his face, not knowing how to respond anymore now that he asked someone else for sex out of wanting some comfort right now.

"Yeah," he said without hesitation, "I just feel exhausted and easily frustrated, you know? I've been experiencing so much crap in my life lately, he said, wiping his tears now before giving her a painful smile afterward. "Can sex really help me quell these feelings?" Adam wants to believe himself now that he has asked this question.

She frowned at the answer. "Perhaps it depends on who you are asking, but I believe it does because I have also helped many men who suffered from different forms of mental illness," the friendly succubus responded before smiling once again afterward. "Sex can relieve a lot of stress for you and even teach you new things."

Having remained silent and contemplating about it after hearing those words, "I...see," clearing his throat, Adam averted his gaze elsewhere before asking something else, "Meridiana," calling her by her real name, "can we..." Pointing at both of them before hesitating afterward, Adam was embarrassed and hurtful after asking this, but it needs to be done no matter what.

"Will my fear of women be cured?" Getting straight to the point from nervously swallowing his saliva while wiping his tears now, Adam hoped this could happen; otherwise, he doesn't know what will happen afterward, but he still needed hope, hoping this succubus could do something for him before sighing afterward, "I don't want to stop running away anymore. The nightmares won't stop either unless I face my fears," he said, looking at her with a straight face. "Can you ease my pain?"

As he asked those questions, he didn't expect the seductive succubus to approach him, allowing the soft pair of her lips to press against his as she started kissing him on the mouth. He closed his eyes after accepting her kiss willingly, despite his vision distorting momentarily, making it rather hard to see the world properly.

Slowly, the escort removed his clothes in a playful and teasing manner, removing his shoes first before tugging at his pants now, giggling softly while seeing his nervous face, and proceeding to remove his underwear before feeling something warm and tight being inserted inside of her womb as fear and euphoria entered his mind.

On one hand, it feels good, and on the other, it is terrifying as he watches the distorted vision continue to morph the world around him, unable to clearly see anything due to his twisted perception, but he tries his best to endure all of this in hopes of getting used to it and fight back. He knows this is necessary for him to learn in not having to fear others anymore, even if it will take some time.

It would be better if he went into therapy instead, but sometimes he wants to fix his problems now and not later, but unfortunately, he can't do that, choosing this to be a better path than having nothing and enduring it despite the feelings inside of him wanting to reject this, reminder of the very person he once called mother.

Watching her exposed breasts sway in front of him with her quest to pleasure him while she was smiling gently throughout their intimacy; enjoying how she is pleasing him even though he still has mixed feelings about this, but the best can do is accept this even if this will take some time, closing his eyes again, trying to accept this as he released continuous gasps from the amount of activity they are doing.

He doesn't know how to describe the sensations he felt due to not knowing if this was a good choice he made or not, deciding to label it as a mixture of both even if this isn't considered normal. When he opened his eyes, however, all hell broke loose when his messy vision change this woman switched into the form of his monstrous mother he had greatly feared all of his life.

Letting out a scream of pure anguish and terror, Adam instantly pushed her off him with strength never seen before, causing Merdiana to be violently thrown at the wall behind her, landing with a loud crack while he fled at the corner of this room, crying hysterically from what just happened, believing his nightmare came true.

With only his black turtleneck shirt and trench coat, he placed his forehead against the wall before continuously banging his head nonstop, yelling madly in a repeating chant, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" His growing insanity fueled his cries even more, and he did not notice when footsteps slowly approached him from behind.

Even though this was his brain tormenting him, he can hear the cackle of Lilith's laughter even clearer, feeling as if she were really there, someplace watching him in such an agonizing moment, amused by his current state even if she isn't really here. The laughter grew louder and higher to the point that it became nearly unstoppable.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" He doesn't care anymore if he's going to have brain damage or concussion; he wants that vile woman of a mother to disappear from his mind once and for all; pounding his head at the wall harder with blood already starting to appear from it, tears continuously coming out his eyes like waterfalls, continuing to plead with an insane cry, "GO AWAY! JUST GO AWAY!"

When will this pain end? When will he ever stop fearing women and perhaps one day find a romantic partner to rebuild his broken family again?

But he knows this is just another cruel joke fate plays on him once again; shaking his head madly from such thoughts, he wants to simply break his skull with a hammer or find a sharp object to get rid of his ear drums in the hope of stopping all these nightmares from happening.

Then something unexpected happened as a naked Merdiana suddenly wrapped her arms around his torso from behind, embracing him tight with tears also pouring from her eyes. "Eve wouldn't want you to continue this path," she cried as Adam froze completely in shock at the mere mention of his dead wife.

Within an instant, he snapped out of his mental breakdown: "You..." He was angry at her for mentioning the very person he loved so dearly, but at the same time, she managed to break him free from this hallucination once again: "Okay, alright," inhaling and exhaling several times in order to calm himself down, "I get it."

Departing her embrace, Adam turned around only to have their closed faces touch one another. He expected to be fearful and start this whole shenanigan again, but nothing happened. He was surprised to know he could finally touch her, someone who isn't a friend. "Did you...cure me or something?" This is something out of the ordinary; he never thought that this might actually work.

Smiling sadly, she said, "I drained all your phobias during our moment of intimacy, but..." Shamefully, her eyes lowered down, "I only drained all except that person you feared for the rest of your life." Her sad smile somehow turned into a grin, playfully adding on,"So sorry, honey, but you will continue to fear other women until death do us apart," humorously joking as Adam stared at her with a dumbfounded expression before shaking his head.

Leaning back on the wall, she said, "Whatever you did..." Rubbing his face tiredly, he then said, "Thanks, I guess," smiling himself albeit confusedly, "So uh..." Gesturing towards her nudity, "mind explaining why you still haven't dressed yet." She responded by chuckling amusingly, "you already know why," winking teasingly, causing him to blush and groan exasperatedly from such an answer.

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