Heartache by Moony1 | World Anvil Manuscripts | World Anvil

Heartache

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Chapter 15

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After a long search for a pack of cigars, Adam has finally managed to find one that didn't have a warning label on it, mysteriously placed on this beautiful balcony with the open night sky exposed for him to see. Without wasting any time, he immediately pulled out a lighter that came along with the pack as he lit up his cigar that was between his fingers, bringing it close to his lips as he inhaled the smoke into his lungs before letting out a satisfying sigh.

Sitting at the end of a surface on the steel fence that separates him from the deadly fall, with its wide surfaces, granting him a safe chance to sit on it as his back head rested behind a wall and his right leg resting on the said surface while the other had his foot on the balcony's floor, Looking at his right side, the wonderful sight of the moon and stars was perfect, along with the breathtaking view of Batham Keep.

Moving his eyes downwards, he and this castle are seemingly in the middle of nowhere on snowy terrain with little trees scattered around the place, yet despite this, he can see nothing but ice-cold and snowy fields as far as his eyes can see. An open view of this area only given to a few, where he wonders if there is any dangerous wildlife that may attack him, but even then, there isn't anything to worry about since he is right here.

Puffing another cigarette, its addicting nicotine enters his bloodstream, causing him to feel some of the same slight euphoria that is felt when smoking drugs. As a longtime smoker, it was no surprise he would be addicted to something like this, even if it is just a minor high that makes him feel good for a moment.

Of course, he's not stupid. Smoking of any kind can lead to cancer, and he is not shy about admitting how the negative outweighs the positive, so with all that in mind, he had no choice but to live with this sort of thing as a normal human being. Although he had promised not to do this again, with everything that just happened

Having to break his promise for now. Forced to relive the memories through his nightmares in the back of his terrible past that he would rather forget, he remembered all the hardships he went through to get to where he is right now, feeling a strange sensation in his heart as he recalled all the pain and suffering he had witnessed.

It's a miracle he's still sane and kicking; as mentioned before, ordinary people would crack after experiencing all this, but here he is, still standing tall while dealing with it in his own way, having made a new resolve to prevent himself from losing again, especially when he has reason to live since his daughter is still intact.

Not that it is any better, though, for a father whose child was ripped away from him as a cruel joke by a malevolent demon he used to call his mother, along with his pregnant wife, who had unfortunately miscarried from the incident before her untimely death. His family had been completely shattered into pieces, and he felt nothing but grief and emptiness within him that still hasn't recovered even after getting his daughter back.

Looking back at the starry sky, he didn't know how long he had stayed there, looking at the beautiful night sky as he thought about things that were troubling his mind, like what to do next or how to raise a child that is barely able to even function properly, let alone be able to take care of herself when he's gone.

Adam knows that nothing is lost forever; everything comes to an end, and with this, he will find a way to lead his daughter down the right path in life and be an excellent parent to her, raising her in the best possible way until she is able to fend for herself and giving her the best life he could offer before he dies of old age or something like that.

Chuckling as he puffed another cigar, there were so many scenarios if he hadn't left his home and instead been with his family. They could have been alive if he had been there with them. But they are all dead because of him, his past always haunting him in his dreams if it was even possible for him to live happily, something he is having trouble with recently, feeling guilty for everything he had done to cause his family's death and wishing he could have given them a better life, but alas, it was too late now.

They are dead and gone. Forever forgotten by the cruel world they live in, the only people that will remember who they are are him and his daughter, if she is still mentally sane after being kidnapped for god's sake. After a long moment of thinking, he let out another long sigh. His eyes spoke volumes of exhaustion and melancholy.

Shouldn't he be the main character or something like that?

Adam hadn't forgotten his conversation with Azrael after learning who he essentially is, finding it ridiculous and laughable, but nonetheless, he couldn't deny that being the main character of his own story doesn't sound too bad, but at the same time, it doesn't feel right either, especially when so much guilt and misery he's carrying.

It felt like a curse; he should have died with his friends and loved ones, but for some reason, he always managed to escape certain death and gain victory over all odds, while they were doomed by his own selfish desire to survive. This is what defines him—an anomaly that defies all odds and statistics in a mad world he doesn't understand.

Admittedly, he was tired of being the main character of his own story, having lost everything because of him and being incapable of doing anything right except winning on his own terms through a path of choices that would lead to his victory at the cost of losing one or two if he made an honest mistake, or something along those lines.

In the end, it doesn't matter; being controlled by an uncaring universe to simply keep him alive and suffer is hell for him.

Whoever or whatever is doing this to him, it sure is a sadistic son of a bitch for messing his life up like this, and Adam still had doubts of his existence in surviving despite his body and mind wanting to live for what exactly?

Lilim, that is why. And because of her, especially knowing how disappointed his beloved wife would be if he selfishly left this world just to escape his problems, It's not a good look for him as a father and role model for her. He deeply knows he has to be here for her sake, and he deeply knows that if he does what he wants to do, his daughter will surely never forgive him for doing this to her.

Closing his eyes, he tried to relax himself as much as possible, breathing in and out, just trying to calm himself down, especially with everything that had happened. He hated the way his life had become. Adam had wished he would have been born into some average household where he would spend the rest of his boring life with a normal family.

Somewhere far away from this cold world, but fate is cruel and unforgiving, making him born in this hellish wasteland where it's literally freezing all year round because of some greedy corporations and governments neglecting or abusing the environment, resulting in a world where snow is their only companion as it falls from the sky, giving it an eternal winter with no spring or summer, the merciless cold at their doorsteps.

A small smile curled his lips. "Maybe someday... he said, hoping that after death from old age, he would be reborn into the world Adam wanted to have. However, knowing that predatory demon and being the first human man to exist, they will likely get his soul and torture him before that happens. Not the best scenario he wished for, but a likely outcome for his fate if he ever dies.

"H-human," the voice of Alucard's nervous tone broke away his deep, troubling thoughts as he snapped out of it; his head turning at the other side to see no other than the young mistress herself and the girl's servant, sitting on her shoulder with a playful grin on the pixie's face if she was planning on saying something.

"What do you want?" Adam asked in an indifferent tone, exhaustion apparent in his voice, "Is there something I can help you with?" Patiently waiting for her to explain herself, "because if not, I'm quite busy." Giving her a glance at the cigar he is smoking as a hint to give him some respect for privacy.

But she continued anyways, nervously fiddling her fingers. "There is something I want to tell you," the vampire girl gulped as she looked at her best friend in silent support before receiving an expression from the man who was looking at her with an eyebrow raised in confusion and a slight worry about her odd behavior.

"Is something wrong?" Concern was heard in his voice, causing Alucard to flinch. "N-no!" Quickly denying as she refused to look at him in the eyes, feeling extremely embarrassed for even saying such a thing, she said, "I just want to apologize for what I did!" The answer was enough to surprise him a little, albeit before he smoked another cigarette with a cough, saying, "Apologize for what?"

Unable to tell him about the events that had happened in her throne room, she only told him how she cruelly pushed him off the edge with his daughter watching, resulting in Adam landing on the floor after being thrown in the air for a few meters, almost killing him if his neck or head had landed on the wrong spot.

Instead of being mad at hearing such things, he laughed heartedly at them, finding the whole situation amusing. "It's fine," he said as he continued to puff another cigar. Seeing how the man before her wasn't even angry about it, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed and frustrated that he wasn't even mad at her for nearly killing him with her own hands.

"But I almost killed you! I—" Alucard was caught in midsentence with a wave of his hand, gesturing to her to stop this apology, having heard enough of it. "I already forgive you, kid," he said with a smile on his face as he looked at her, "for simply giving us food and shelter to stay in; that is more than enough to make me forgive you."

Alucard had been like this, despite being violent, cruel, and having a strange way of taking things seriously at times; the young mistress couldn't help but admire him. The man before him wasn't like the other humans he had seen. There was something about him that made her respect him, and not just because he showed her a different side of life; she felt indebted to him for it.

"I...I...I..." She couldn't form the words of how much he was nice to her; everyone except Garnet had hated her guts for being what she is and what she is capable of. But this very man didn't. He doesn't care what she is or judge her after learning about her past. In fact, the person before her simply cares if she does something nice for him in return.

Just as the nervous girl was about to speak, Garnet spoke on her behalf; this time, flying above her mistress's head, she said, "She likes you!" The loud, grating pixie said with a cheerful grin on her face, "I mean, she thinks you are nice and..." The pixie made some weird hand gestures to get her point across: "Do you know what she means by that?"

"Like me?" Look of surprise spawned on his face, "for what?" Adam isn't understanding the situation he landed himself in; he's really getting a bit annoyed with how stupid Garnet is acting right now, but despite that, he has the feeling she is making the situation worse by disturbing their sense of conversation.

"G-Garnet!" A steam of smoke exited out of her ears as her face turned extremely red. "What did I say about you doing that?!"" As if realizing what she was doing, she quickly covered her mouth with both of her hands, unable to say another word as she got the look of a grin from the pixie before Garnet turned her attention to him.

"She has a—" Before Garnet could spill the beans, Alucard quickly grabbed her, shaking her like a rag doll and shouting at her to keep quiet while causing the young mistress to have a panic attack, knowing very well what her best friend was about to say.

Watching the comical scene being unfolded before him, getting flashbacks of pleasant memories with his friends and family from a time that is forgotten. Adam immediately throws out his cigar before getting up, his feet touching the floor of this balcony, before he suddenly laughs from a peculiar memory he has remembered.

Causing them to stop what they were doing and focus on him instead, their eyes widen from what they are seeing, as it is the first time they have seen him laughing genuinely; even Garnet, who has known him for a while, is surprised by this. The man before them laughed like a happy man, having a joyful expression on his face and in tears from how much he was laughing, something that they didn't know he was capable of doing.

Shaking his head as he regained himself, Adam couldn't help but apologize, smiling at the two. "Just you girls reminded me of someone I know." Adam turned his back to them as he scratched his head in embarrassment, staring at the moon above him. Its beautiful sight has its perfect reflection in the clear night sky, only making the scene before him even more beautiful.

"Someone I wished to be with..."

Alucard and Garnet look at each other in a mix of confusion and worry. Seeing the somber expression on his face, they both know that he is feeling down at the moment, even though he did say that he is fine. Either way, they decided not to disturb him again and simply remain silent as they watched him stare at the night sky above them.

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by 3 Armored Kittens · Prodromos v.1.1 - World Anvil 0.9.15.009 © 2017-2024 [en] | Anvil Time: 04:25, May 9 2024