Heartache by Moony1 | World Anvil Manuscripts | World Anvil

Chapter 49

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Morning has finally arrived, and he has a mission to do, which is to get his daughter back no matter what, even if it means going against their wishes of protecting him from the dangers that will get him killed for good. Coward and weak he is, Adam has a heart of gold and the perseverance to do what is right in his own way.

Getting up from his bed and sitting at the edge of it, his head facing down on the wooden flow, he reflected on the conversation last night with Alucard—their vivid, colorful, and expressive discourse of conversing to each other about rescuing his daughter. The only problem is that he doesn't know if any of his comrades will come with him.

He knows Vesh wouldn't, even though he can convince him to, but Adam doesn't have the energy or time to do it. He is in a pickle between getting straight to the point and finishing the job as fast as possible or wasting more time on convincing others to help him rescue her, for it would mean leaving them behind while putting their lives in danger just because of him. In conclusion, he chose to go alone despite the vampire's protest.

Sneering from the thought with a slight smile gracing on his lips, he said, "That kid, she really cares for me that much?" It sounds wholesome, like something straight out of a comic book, and the two of them were made to become friends; that's what he thinks of their relationship as mentor and pupil, with her as the latter. Although there's nothing romantic between them, nor will there ever be in the future, "I wonder about having to worry about them..." Sighing from the idea.

Adam doesn't want others to come with him anyway; he wishes to keep them safe and unharmed, as he believes this is his own battle to fight. Yet, there is one thing that troubles him about how every person in different walks of life could die at any moment, from a bullet, disease, suicide, murder, or other factors such as fate itself.

"God, this is depressing." He wanted to laugh, but his expression turned sour instead. "This is so pathetic; I am so pathetic." Laughing, crying, or mentally screaming to himself—whatever the case maybe, he can do it. What makes him angry is forming relationships with others, and this is something he hates more than anything else. It was never in his plans to start having friendships with them, as it only meant he'd end up losing them at some point.

But there is no point in continuing this way, and it has been a long time since he started feeling like this; however, there's no turning back now. All he can do is follow his heart, whether it leads to success or failure; it's up to him to decide which one to take. And it seems to be either way, depending on his actions.

Standing up, he stretched his neck by turning it right and left, feeling a slight pain coming from his shoulders. Adam was never fond of pain, but he got used to it to the point of being able to endure critical injuries that would cause an ordinary person to pass out and lose consciousness if not for his perseverance and stubbornness in getting back up and challenging whatever life threw at him.

"I need to use the bathroom," he said quietly to himself, walking out of the room and into the hallway, where there was a bathroom just outside his room. Adam was quite thankful that there was no one else in the hallway, allowing him to enter the bathroom without any hassle or causing others to bother him about certain things, especially what he is planning today.

As he entered the bathroom, he was met with a rather pleasant sight. This place is as clean as can be, even with its rustic interior. The sink, the mirror, and the toilet are all in perfect condition. He also notices the sink has running water, but there's no hot water. It doesn't seem to matter to him. This place seems to be better than the cheapest apartments in New York City.

Heading to the nearby sink, Adam turned on the faucet and cupped his hands together, pouring the cold water on his face while looking at his reflection in the mirror, allowing a moment of silence in a brown study of his own life, the bad things he did and the good things he achieved, how many people he hurt and how many people he protected, what made him become the person he is today, and how far he went just to reach where he is now.

Shaking his head with laughter, he asked, "What's with me and my past?" He cannot stop himself from all the things that he has done, even though they have brought him pain and suffering, and yet he couldn't help but chuckle. He did not understand why he did all those things, but he found it quite funny that he keeps going through the same cycle over and over again, only to repeat it for as long as he lives.

Using the towel hanging nearby to dry his face, Adam caught a glimpse of the reflection on himself this time—the same figure he met prior to almost dying from the severe wound afflicted on his neck by a black direwolf, having likely been stuck between the line of life and death, like an undead monster who seeks revenge for being killed before. A shadow of the man he once was before turning into whatever he became, a werewolf perhaps?

The dark reflection appearing before him is the dark figure of himself with those same glowing, blue eyes staring straight through his soul, wearing the clothing he has, standing as if to make Adam feel smaller, his left arm raised, and pointing his index finger at him with an enraged expression on his face.

"YOU DISGUST ME!" The beast, as Adam starts to name him, yelled with a voice similar to his own, "KEEPING YOUR EMPATHY AND DETERMINATION AFTER ALL THE BAD AND GOOD THINGS YOU DONE! LET THE PAST BE PAST, GET OVER IT, GET OVER YOURSELF, AND ALLOW ME TO TAKE OVER YOUR PHYSICAL BODY! LET ME GIVE YOU A REPLACE FOR THE MISTAKES YOU DID AND KEEP ON GOING AS I PROVIDE YOU WITH SOLACE FROM ALL OF YOUR PAIN!" Its eyes glow brightly in the dark, like two little blue fireballs ready to explode with fury.

Adam simply looked at his doppelganger with a calm, cool, and collected expression on his face, giving the dark reflection no reaction, showing no fear, anxiety, or uneasiness; "like hell I will," dropping the towel on the ground with furrowed brows, "you don't scare me anymore; I don't give a shit if you are some demon from hell or really the embodiment of my inner dark psyche; the feelings and thoughts I have are owned by me, not you or anyone else, got it?"

The beast clenched his fists in frustration, and its dark reflection's face grew with rage. "LIES! COWARD! NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS COULD SAVE YOU, AND YOUR FEELINGS WILL ALWAYS HURT UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE!" It growled while trying to grab Adam, but his dark reflection failed miserably and just kept screaming angrily, "BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN MAN, SIMPLE AND SAD, A WEAK LITTLE HUMAN!"

Adam then stared at the creature with a piercing look and stern voice. "Maybe," he replied in a soft tone, taking a deep and sharp breath to calm himself down, letting go of his own fears and doubts about himself and everything else around him for a moment. "Maybe you are right about that," he started while shaking his head as he turned away from his dark reflection before it could even try to hurt him again. "But it doesn't matter, because the truth is: I am more than this," he continued with confidence. "I want to live just as most animals and people born in this world do. That's why I fight to the very end."

His dark reflection suddenly chuckled mockingly, "OH?!" He said sarcastically, "TRY AS YOU MIGHT, YOUR DAUGHTER WILL NEVER LEARN FROM YOU OR KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR LIVES IF YOU KEEP PROTECTING HER FROM THE TRUTH!" He laughed at the surprised Adam, saying, "THAT LITTLE BITCH WILL ALWAYS BE—"

He has enough with this freak. When it started to talk about his only surviving family member, all of the confidence and serenity came to an end when the sudden rage entered his heart and soul, controlling him to the point of turning around and punching it with all his might, breaking the mirror at the bloody cost of injuring his hand.

"Close your damn mouth!" Adam shouted with rage, not realizing it was the beast's plan as he suddenly fell on the floor from his back, resulting in his body having a seizure as the victorious voice of this thing resurfaced in his mind, gloating about how it managed to trick him much to his stupidity and naivety of allowing himself to be baited into it.

"YES!" It cheered happily, "LET ME SAVOR THE TASTE OF YOUR RAGE AND HATE FLOWING THROUGH YOUR BODY! I CAN ALMOST FEEL THEM, MIXED WITH THE SWEET OXYGEN I AM BREATHING!" Continuing with laughter at getting this chance, "IT'S JUST MERE SECONDS FOR YOU TO TRANSFORM; MY JOY TO FINALLY SLAUGHTER ALL OF YOUR COMRADES IS GREAT!"

"Stop it!" His not giving in never will allow this thing to even try to destroy everything he built and made. "I won't let you control me anymore!" Using only his willpower, Adam impressively managed to hold it down from fully taking control of his body, much to the beast's shock and disbelief from what it was seeing.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Further enraged by knowing his host can surprisingly fight back, he says, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO POSSESS SUCH STRENGTH!" He didn't even think Adam could withstand such magnitude. "IT'S HOPELESS; JUST LET ME HAVE YOU AND KILL THEM ALL!"

"Over my dead body!" Adam retorted, "This is my body now! And I'm the one in control!" This was nothing but another game of cat and mouse, with the only difference being that the predator and prey were the same person. "And you have to get the hell out of my head!" Challenging this thing that wanted to slaughter all of his companions for a chance to take control of him.

The beast grew furious at his words: "NO! YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME, NEVER!" With an evil smile, he said, "THIS IS A WINNING MOVEMENT! I ALWAYS WIN, NOT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE! I'M THE BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF!" Rage fueled to the point of boiling: "NOW, FALL!" Adam had no idea what he was doing, but something felt odd to him when his eyes began to glow a bright blue while also making the veins all around his skin bulge up from underneath, showing the intensity of rage from the beast itself.

It didn't know why it did this, but Adam somehow instinctively knew how to control his new power while he took full advantage of it. "What is happening?" He can feel his flesh and bones extending to their limits, stretching in impossible ways that would break anyone else in half, yet he fights like hell to starve off this transformation.

During his struggle, memories of his former friends and family entered his mind. When Eve and he sang happy birthday to their daughter, a nostalgic and random thought from the past brought him to tears, and he realized he had to give in all his might just to cherish the happy moments he shared with them.

"Ahhh!" Letting out his sad cries, the strong desire to live and keep his humanity eventually overcame the transformation, shocking the beast to his surprise, unable to accept the fact that it was beginning to lose control over Adam's body and soul, despite being more powerful than Adam himself in terms of strength and endurance.

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" He continued screaming like a man child, not wanting to accept this fact wholeheartedly. "I CAN'T LOSE!" The beast never felt embarrassed and ashamed of being defeated by his host, let alone a depressed and self-loathing human who couldn't even fight against his own fate. "IT'S NOT FAIR!" Despite not wanting to give up on the battle, he has no choice but to retreat back into Adam's mind.

Just when it did, Adam's body slowly returned to normal. He had already collapsed onto the floor with sweat covering his body. Many mixed emotions swirled within his heart: confusion, sadness, and fear.

When he steadily stood up and stared at his trembling hands in disbelief of what had happened, he said, "I can't believe I managed to..." His tears fell on his open palms, seeing them as a symbol of victory against the beast while thinking of Eve and their daughter.

"I miss them so much," he cried before sitting on the floor, not even bothered by the sweat around his body. "I just want to see them, please. Let me see their smiles. I want to go back. I want to..." Darkness came around him, along with the coldness of this empty world he was in, as Adam let out loud cries until he was ready to stand up with his own two feet once more.

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