Frult Üft

Frult Üft, sometimes called F.U., is facsimile of the Earthling city of Los Angeles, California which is found in the Mira’s Well section of The Realm. Along with Paradise City in Nunya and Newest Orleans in Oz, Frult Üft is one of Eden’s preeminent party towns.

Geography and Urban Design

The urban sprawl of Frult Üft stretches from the Realmish Mountains in the north to Gallagher Lake in the south. It is bounded by The Desert at the Edge of Existence in the east and west. And a river called The Gush runs through the middle of the city.

Because The Gush floods with such frequency, a series of emergency drainage canals spread out from the river toward the Four Reservoirs at the city limits—one for each corner. These engineering marvels activate whenever The Gush starts, well, gushing more than usual.

And though the city is quite the concrete jungle, it is not without its green spaces. Farms at the outskirts export the fruit of the lof jabla bush—an easy-to-process natural fiber, native to the dwarven planet of Thün Büldar, which is used throughout Eden in garment-making.

The Name

The city’s name comes from the Thünardian phrase for “sweet scar,” a euphemism for the vulva that’s not supposed to be as dirty as it sounds. The dwarves saw this city, built in the middle of a desert, as physical manifestation of the divine life-giving power of their sister goddesses Mira and Phina, and the dwarves meant to honor them.

It was human hang-ups about sex which led to all the snickering about the name, which is when the dwarves tried using an abbreviation—F.U.—instead, only to realize that the abbreviation was even funnier to the gutter-minded humans.

Notable Landmarks

Though Frult Üft is one of the entertainment capitals of Eden, the type of entertainment it provides can be very different than what one might find in the Earthling city it is a facsimile of (Los Angeles). Because Frult Üft is a part of the technology-fearing and magic-loving United Kingdom of Wonderland, far less emphasis is placed on television, filmmaking, and recorded music. Instead, live theater and live music dominate.

Here are just a few of the highlights:

• The Temple of the Revolution, an enormous Quadling Cathouse founded by sun worshippers, is a haven for outcasts and exiles
• Coincidance, a night club which was once buried by the desert, is known for its innumerable pleasant coincidences—including the fact that it always smells like your favorite things and there is always at least one someone there who is totally into you
• The Road That Went Too Far, which was shaped by giant sand worms in some bygone age, climbs up into the Realmish Mountains and is home to one scenic outlook after another—but if you don’t turn around of your own volition at some point, you’ll be on the road forever
• The Parade of the Pigs, where you can step right up, march, push, and crawl right up on your knees—just like one of the city’s three favorite porcine sons
• The Frult Bowl, an amphitheater with a gorgeous—and gorgeous sounding—Art Deco bandshell, is one of the premiere live music venues in Eden