Eden

Being the history of the purgatorial paradise created by the goddess of fire and chaos.

  • 1 BCE

    27 /12
    1 BCE

    31 /12

    The Creation
    Era beginning/end

    Angry that her sister and fellow goddess is about to end the six-hundred and sixty-fifth iteration of the still-imperfect reality they created together, Phina creates a pocket dimension for the survivors of the upcoming Calamity—a last refuge for them to gather while her sister calms down.

  • 1

    77


    The First Age
    Era beginning/end

    After a Calamity destroys the Six-Hundred and Sixty-Fifth Iteration of Reality, the survivors find themselves in the postapocalyptic paradise of Eden—which was created just days before by the goddess Phina. Over the course of 77 years, these survivors colonize the new land while also planning for a reboot of the reality they knew and loved.

  • 28


    Augustus Might's Sacrifice
    Life, Achievement/ Win

    Augustus Might sacrifices himself to restore the goddess Phina to her full power, and to set in motion the events which would lead to the end of the First Age.

  • 36


    Aesling O’Briar Falls Into a Cursed Sleep
    Life, Failure / Mishap

    Having been cursed by a halfling witch when she was a child, Aesling O’Briar now falls into a 100-year sleep.

  • 76


    Stagnekad Murders Lüe
    Life, Death

    Stagnekad the Defiler murders Lüe the Mapmaker in order to create the vile Oragas Ríxfíg.

  • 77

    114


    The Wander Years (Earth-666)
    Era beginning/end

    With the rest of existence trying their hand at another iteration of reality, the halflings of Eden take custody of this magical land—a gift to them from the sister goddesses, given in thanks for all the help they provided in rebooting the universe.

  • 114

    316


    The Second Age
    Era beginning/end

    In the universe beyond Eden, the six-hundred and sixty-sixth iteration of reality comes to an end. Survivors arrive and are welcomed by the halfling custodians of this place.

  • 125


    Self-Propelled Inventory Transfer is Launched
    Technological achievement

    Dwarven refugees from the Six-Hundred and Sixty-Sixth Iteration of Reality make the dream of overnight shipping across Eden a reality.

  • 126

    127


    The Great Famine of Motherland
    Disaster / Destruction

    Famine strikes Motherland, killing Hansel and Gretel's parents and driving the children into an encounter with a witch who lives in a house made of candy. Later, the Fight for the Field of Plenty leads to the expulsion of the Pixies from neighboring Fatherland.

  • 133


    Sadie Winters Disappears
    Life, Relocation

    On the eve of her eighteenth birthday—when she was scheduled to ascend the throne of The Realm—young Sadie Winters disappears and is later presumed dead.

  • 135


    The Battle With the Boy Who Would Not Grow Up
    Military: Battle

    Captain Hook and the crew of The Jolly Roger do battle with Peter Pan and his Lost Boys. During the battle, Hook is attacked by a giant crocodile and thought dead. The majority of Hook’s crew blames their crewmate Elavaris, whom they then shun and curse.

  • 135

    140


    The Evil Queen Hunts Sadie Winters
    Life, Milestone

    Mercy Graves, Queen Regent of The Realm, loses her station upon her son's coming of age. The so-called "Evil Queen," now with a lot of time on her hands, hunts for the stepdaughter—and rival claimant to her son's throne—who was supposed to be killed years before by an incompetant huntsman.

    After eating an apple poisoned by Graves, the stepdaughter—Sadie Winters—falls into a sleep like death. The stepdaughter's vengeful dwarven lovers kill the evil queen as payback. Meanwhile, a handsome prince arrives to wake the stepdaughter with a kiss.

  • 136


    Daisy Rampion Escapes the Tower
    Life, Relocation

    Daisy Rampion escapes from the tower she's been trapped in for most of her young life. Her accomplice? A tall, dark, and handsome prince called Malik—the man she will one day marry.

  • 136


    Gretel Slays the Watersmeet Monster
    Life, Death

    On the eve of her future husband's 13th birthday, Gretel der Jäger slays the fearsome Watersmeet monster.

  • 136


    Aesling O'Briar Wakes Up
    Life, Milestone

    Aesling O'Briar awakens from her 100-year sleep.

  • 137


    The United Countries of Oz Attempt Annexation of Chelmsdale
    Military: Skirmish

    The United Countries of Oz attempt annexation of the Nunyan city of Chelmsdale. They are unsuccessful.

  • 137

    1
    142

    /12

    The Great Abdication Movement
    Political event

    The peoples of the Edenian South clamor for the removal of the so-called False Kings who have led their countries astray. Following the headlines made the previous year by Gretel der Jäger and Daisy Rampion, the people demand that all remaining false kings abdicate by 142 and that their heirs apparent marry heroines like Gretel and Daisy—lists of whom shall be presented by the public to the kings on a regular basis.

  • 137

    16 /2

    Malik Marries Daisy
    Marriage

    King Malik of The Realm marries Daisy Rampion.

  • 137

    28 /4

    The Great Ball of Yesterland
    Cultural event

    George I, as part of The Great Abdication Movement, holds a ball to find an eligible mate for his daughter and heir Gwendolyn. It is at this event that Gwen and Ella of the Ashes fall for each other.

  • 138


    Gwen Marries Ella
    Marriage

    Gwendolyn marries Ella of the Ashes and ascends the throne of Promiseland.

  • 138


    Uther Pendragon Marries Marnie le Fay (née Miller)
    Marriage

    The childless bachelor king Uther Pendragon, in accordance with the the demands of The Great Abdication Movement, marries the beloved (and recently widowed) Marnie le Fay (née Miller).

  • 140


    Wilhelm I Marries Sadie Winters
    Marriage

    Wilhelm I marries the recently re-emerged Sadie Winters and ascends the throne of Fatherland.

  • 140


    Ingvar Marries Aesling
    Marriage

    Ingvar marries Aesling O’Briar and the two take his father’s throne in Neverland by force as a wedding gift to one another—and in the hopes of bringing peace to their chaotic country.

  • 140


    Uther Abdicates
    Political event

    When the people of Promiseland learn that King Uther Pendragon had the first husband of Queen Marnie murdered to have her for his own, they threaten rebellion if he does not abdicate. He does, and Queen Marnie goes on to serve as Queen Regent until the coming of age of Arthur.

  • 141


    A Munchkin Spy Kills Roway Freewings
    Life, Death

    A Munchkin spy murders Roway Freewings—the last qhirat in existence.

  • 141


    Alexey I Marries Gretel der Jäger
    Marriage

    Alexey I marries Gretel der Jäger and ascends the throne of Motherland.

  • 142


    The Invasion of Oz
    Military: Battle

    In The Invasion of Oz, a coalition of Edenian armies led by Oscar Diggs and his Four Witches storm the Green House in the Emerald City. They arrest President Kiki Pipt for war crimes, “liberate” the people of Oz from what the coalition claims is a tyrannical regime, and establish The Empire of Oz.

  • 142


    Hamish II Marries Bonnie MacAdam
    Life, Relationship change

    Bonnie MacAdam is recruited by the Queen Mother to marry young King Hamish II.

  • 143


    The Cult of the River is Founded
    Religious event

    The extremist religion known as the Cult of the River is founded.

  • 144

    144


    The Emerald Rebellion
    Military action

    Munchkin and Gillikin insurgents invade the free city of Chelmsdale in a failed two-week campaign which will come to be known as the Emerald Rebellion.

  • 263


    Frieda Jacobs Unites the Seven Kingdoms of Wonderland
    Political event

    In the aftermath of the Big Bad Wolf's attempt on her life and the life of her grandmother, Frieda Jacobs unites the seven kingdoms of the Edenian South—hereafter known as Wonderland—into one united kingdom. Frieda then ascends the new Wonderlandian throne as the first Queen of Hearts.

  • 300

    315


    Alice, Dorothy, and Wendy Do Their Things

    The infamous adventures of Alice Lewis, Dorothy Gale, and Wendy Darling reshape the future of Eden.

  • 311


    The Matter of Goodwives Goody, Gumdrops, and Two-Shoes
    Military: Skirmish

    A magical battle between three goodwives results in the banning of The Faith of the First Mother in The United Kingdom of Wonderland and the ascension of the two survivors to the positions of Witch of the East and Witch of the West respectively.

  • 316


    The Seven Voices Sing the Earth-667 Iteration of Reality Into Existence
    Celestial / Cosmic

    The Seven Voices of the Second AgeWendy Darling, Jo March, Dorothy Gale, Miranda D’Prospero, Juliet Capulet, Alice Lewis, and Katrina van Tassel—sing the six-hundred and sixth-seventh iteration of reality into existence, leaving Eden to the halflings once more.

  • 317

    354


    The Wander Years (Earth-667)
    Era beginning/end

    With the rest of existence trying their hand at another iteration of reality, the halflings of Eden get back to business as usual.

  • 354

    413


    The Third Age
    Era beginning/end

    The age of Abraham the Honest begins, with notable events including the Nunyan Civil War.

  • 363

    1 /7
    363

    3 /7

    Battle of Kirbyville
    Military: Battle

    The most famous battle of the Nunyan Civil War is fought in the city of Kirbyville.

  • 413

    450


    The Wander Years (Earth-668)
    Era beginning/end

    With the halfings of Eden now realizing they’ll only ever have 37 years to themselves before more refugees arrive from the the outside world, all sorts of plans are adjusted accordingly.

  • 427

    1 /6

    The Inaugural Raunchy Brawl
    Sporting Event / Competition

    Kit “Grey” Summers, then president of the Yeti Wrestling Federation, organizes the first annual Raunchy Brawl.

  • 450

    1516


    The Fourth Age
    Era beginning/end

    The seemingly interminable fourth age is dominated by the rise to power of the fascist dictator Bradar Codlacke—the first-ever Emperor of Eden.

  • 477

    1 /6

    The Kit Klassic
    Sporting Event / Competition

    The main event of the annual Raunchy Brawl is held, and becomes an instant classic—still considered the best ever.

  • 1516

    1553


    The Wander Years (Earth-669)
    Era beginning/end

    The halflings of Eden spent thirty-seven years trying to figure out how to prevent the terrors of The Fourth Age from ever occurring again.

  • 1553


    The Fifth Age
    Era beginning/end

    Following the Quasi-Calamity of 1553, during which the universe outside of Eden almost ended but then didn’t, the halflings of Eden declared the beginning of the Fifth Age—during which, strangely, Edenian time suddenly synced up with universal time for the first time ever. “Are the times of a rebooting Clarkwoods Literary Universe finally over?” the halflings wonder, but only the goddesses know for sure.

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